


Advanced Struggles in Focus

by Lilogirl



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: ADHD, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Autistic Character, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Neurodiversity, Platonic Relationships, Stimming, Troy Barnes has adhd, but feel free to read into it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27445873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilogirl/pseuds/Lilogirl
Summary: Troy has a problem, one he's never told anyone about.
Relationships: Troy Barnes & Abed Nadir
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	Advanced Struggles in Focus

It’s a Saturday, and Troy is sitting with his legs crossed in front of the TV, playing an action game he got at Gamestop last week. Abed sits behind him in a chair, letting him in on what had happened in the latest episode of Game of Thrones while he plays with his purple tangle toy. 

Just as he’s about to tell Troy which character he expects to be killed off in the next episode, Troy clumsily drops the controller and abruptly turns off the TV.

“Craaaaaaaap.” Troy says slowly, his voice filling with guilt as he drags out the word out. 

“Eh?” Abed says with a cocked head and raised eyebrows, because just a couple of minutes ago Troy had been staring at the screen with an intensity comparable to Abed’s usual gaze. 

“Sorry, it’s just that...Jesus christ...I promised myself I was gonna study for that stupid bio test today, but I came in here and saw the video game case next to the tv, and...man, I dunno.” Troy sighed as he lazily threw up his hands. 

Abed watches closely as Troy goes to his computer, opens up a tab, and googles his way to the video on the different types of ecosystems that the whole class had been instructed to watch.

Abed turns his head back to his thin, fidgeting hands. He focuses keenly on the pleasant feeling of the textured plastic on his skin, and his mouth curls into a small smile. 

A few minutes pass, with Troy on his computer and Abed fiddling with the tangle. Abed’s so focused on his stimming that he almost doesn't notice when he hears the feeble sound of shaky breathing behind him.

“Troy?”

Abed’s roommate turns to him, and he’s a mess. 

He has tears spilling out his eyes, his breathing is choppy, and he looks more vulnerable than he has in a while (which is saying a lot). 

Abed runs over to Troy, who has closed his computer. 

“Troy!” Abed whispers with a look of startled concern. He puts his hand on Troy's arm, because for whatever reason, Troy doesent seem to mind it when he does. 

“You look upset.” Abed states, and he knows that much is obvious, but he doesent know what else to say. 

Troy sniffs. “I’m so sorry, it's just that I can’t-”. 

He stops to wipe his eyes. 

“It's just that I was trying really hard to focus on this video” Troy explains, saying the phrase “really hard” like he’s going to combust at any moment. 

“But, but, I just started thinking about that episode of Inspector Spacetime we saw last night, and how sad I was that the princess of the 7th demension had to die in that explosion, and then I started thinking about how her death was going to effect Constable Reggie, and whether or not-” 

Troy stops again.

“Look, my point is that I started thinking about all this stuff, stuff that had nothing to do with what the assignment is about. When my attention did come back to the video, I had already missed most of it, and I know I could just start it over again, but-”

He pauses one last time to take a shaky, shuddering breath. 

“But this kind of thing happens all the time, it’s like I just can’t focus on anything, no matter how hard I try.” Troy says, his words practically tripping over themselves. 

“It’s because I’m lazy, I know it is. I’m lazy and stupid and have no dedication and also-”.

Abed puts his other hand on Troys other, slightly shaking arm. “Troy! You know that’s not true, I know that’ not true.” Abed says, and even though his eyes are a blank page, his words still have a hearable earnestness even when spoken with his monotone voice.

Troy sighs. “Abed, you don’t have to lie to make me feel better, I’m just some idiot who-” 

Troy’s self-devaluation is put on pause by his friend, who holds out the tangle toy he has in his hands. 

“Troy...I think you need this, playing with it usually helps me when I get upset, like during a meltdown, I think it might help you.” 

Troy squints, trying not to tear up at Abed’s kindness. He slowly picks the trinket up and starts to twist it around his fingers, the stimulation comforting him, but not as much as he wants to.

After he fidgets for a minute or two, he looks up at Abed.

“Hey, man, can...can I tell you a secret?” Troy whispers. 

Abed nods.

“I’ve been thinking about all this alot, about my difficulty focusing, and I’ve been doing some research online, going on websites that talk about people who have a really hard time concentrating, people who also have difficulty staying still, and…”

Troy gulps, because he’s about to tell Abed something he’s never said out loud before.

“I...I think I might have ADHD.”

Troy has so much confusion in his eyes that Abed, even with all his struggles in picking up on how his friends feel, can tell he’s terrified. 

“Troy...I think you're confused.” Abed says, clearly surprised that he’s playing the role of the comforter instead of Troy, but determined to do his best at it. 

“I don’t know if I can say for sure if you have a disorder. I’m not a doctor...I don’t think I ever wanna be one. But if you do have ADHD, you can’t start to think that makes you stupid or lazy.”

He gives Troy’s arm a gentle squeeze. 

“Because it doesent. It really, really doesent.” 

Troy gives a small smile, and as sweet as it is, it quickly turns back into a frown.

“I don’t know when I’ll start to believe that.”

Abed feels a lump forming in his throat.

“I’ll be there for you the whole way through.” 

Troy smiles, and then begins to cry again, because he never thought anyone would accept him as he is now. He never thought anyone would accept him as Troy Barnes, the scared and fragile, not Troy Barnes, the star football player. 

“Abed, can I keep playing with your tangle toy for a while?” Troy asks meekly.

“...Yeah.” Abed replies, the lump in his throat growing larger.

“Thanks.” Troy replies, and he starts to stroke the textured pieces of the tangle with his thumb.

Troy is still scared, still worried there might be something wrong with him. 

This problem, this lack of focus and hyperactivity has been a part of his life for as long as he can remember, since he was a child getting yelled at by adults for not paying attention in class or for fidgeting at the dinner table.

The difference now is that he knows there is someone there for him, someone who won’t shout if he drifts off during a conversation and won’t think he’s weird for needing stimulation. 

It's a difference that, in a better version of Troy's life, wouldn't be surprising at all. 

But it is.

He needs Abed more than ever now, and the best part is, Abed knows it. 

Abed won’t think less of him for it. 

He holds onto that thought, never wanting to let it go.


End file.
